"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

Religion doesn't suck, people do
2:57 p.m. on 2004-04-08

Some people are so stupid. Especially religious people.

Now before Claire starts growling... I like religious people. A lot of them are my good friends. But there are a small, yet very vocal minority who are really beginning to pee me off.

Speaking as a deist, if I am ever asking for advice or speaking about a bereavement and hear the words: "I always turn to God" or "I pray to God" or "In the Bible it says..." then I swear I scream.

Inwardly. But still.

It just makes me cringe, certain people's belief that their faith can be forced on other people if they just keep advertising it. Using every opportunity to scream "I'm Christian and I'm proud!" when actually they probably know fuck all about their own religion and certainly don't have the right to stand on a moral high ground and preach to others.

Normally my feelings about this are simply simmering gently, but this is Easter, there are a few very annoying posters on a certain forum who are clear evidence for WHY the Romans threw so many of them to the damn lions, and I am looking forward to a weekend where both radio and tv is swamped by 'Healthy Christian programs'

The UK is a healthy mix of Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, aetheists, deists, people who following the Wiccan faith or chant Hare Krishna at regular intervals... and yet our media is still overcome by the need to celebrate a festival which is only appropriate to a specific section of the populace.

The rest of us must pull out a video or plug in our CD player on a Sunday morning, because Higher Power Of Choice preserve us if you don't fancy watching some boring C-list celebrity waffle about their favourite hymns *cough cough*

In the meantime, here's some therapy:

Pat: I'm a very careful man, Father.
Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom!
Pat: You're not advocating the use of artificial contraception now, are you?
Ted: Well, ye......well, no...well, naturally.....well, not really....well, of course you'd............JUST FECK OFF!

Ted: The holy stone... It must be even holier than we thought. Perhaps it's something to do with that fellow who came over from England last year. He touched it - and he grew a beard!
Dougal: Wow. Weird. That'd be nearly enough to upgrade it to a Class 1.
Ted: Ooh, Class 1'd be very rare. That'd be bringing people back to life... time travel... cloning dinosaurs... Very rare.

TED- So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that feller.... E.T.

Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...More drink!

<< >>