"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

For Claire, who fears Whiskas pouchers
7:14 p.m. on 2005-05-10

Because I have no real entry. And I wanted to share.

LORELAI: Hey Kirk. Oh my God!

RORY: What happened?

KIRK: I�m scratched over sixty percent of my body.

LORELAI: Aw, CatKirk again?

KIRK: Ow.

LORELAI: Sorry.

BABETTE: I�m so mad at that cat.

MOREY: Very uncool cat.

BABETTE: I love cats, but I love Kirk, too. It�s pretty much fifty-fifty, and that�s a high compliment, my friend.

LORELAI: How did this happen?

KIRK: Well, the tension of our standoff was unbearable, so I got on the floor and tried to play with him.

LORELAI: It�s a him?

KIRK: I caught a peek.

LORELAI: Go on.

KIRK: I rolled this cute little ball of yarn over to him all nice and gentle. He tried to garrote me with it.

LORELAI: Oh my God.

MOREY: Very uncool.

KIRK: Just grabbed two ends with his paws and came at me.

RORY: But he doesn�t have opposable thumbs.

KIRK: He�s beyond them. And he�s smart. He knows things, sometimes before they happen.

LORELAI: Get a hold of yourself, man.

KIRK: You haven�t heard the worst.

RORY: Oh geez, there�s worse?

KIRK: When the attacks got particularly brutal, I had no choice but to strip naked and hide under water in the bathtub. I read that cats are afraid of water.

BABETTE: They are, they are.

KIRK: Kirk isn�t. He found me, and he seemed to derive greater power from the water. That�s when the bulk of the scratching happened.

LORELAI: Well, then, I think it�s good you�re giving Kirk a little space right now. Just relax and enjoy your food.

KIRK: I can�t taste my food.

LORELAI: Well, then, just try to relax.

KIRK: Thanks.

Listening to: My Life Story "Sparkle"

Watching: The Gilmore Girls

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