Musings of a cybersyd
9:49 p.m. on 2003-12-19

"If you look back and replay your year, and it brings out tears of neither sorrow nor joy, then consider it wasted."

Okay, so David E. Kelly is frequently so up to his neck in sap and sentimentality he's drowning in the stuff, but this particular Ally quote rings more true for me than others.

So here goes. A list of the good, and the bad, things about 2003. The parts that made me laugh, and the parts that made me cry.

Tears of joy

1. University life. I made some of the best friends I have ever known there. I had some of the best experiences. I joined a belly dancing society, and a ballroom dancing society! I was even dragged along (uh... not dragged... gently nudged...) to a lesson in Bollywood dancing organized by Mithu, and, can I add, it was so much fun I went and did it again!

2. South America. A biggy, this one. Its hard to express in words how much of an amazing experience that was. I can't bring myself to look at the photos because it feels like I was never there, like it was some weird dream that happened to someone else. But I was there. I did those things. I fished for piranhas, and trekked through a rainforest. I visited a local school where a sweet giant of a man named Andy scared a small little girl. I travelled through one of the driest places on earth in a 4x4, surrounded by sand which was so bright you needed sunglasses to protect your eyes from damage. I wandered aimlessly through a funfair accompanied by three slightly drunk men wearing Bugs Bunny masks and dangling kites behind them. I walked the Inca Trail. And I did this on my own - not physically, perhaps, but emotionally anyway, without the backup of having a friend or family by my side. Its weird, the freedom that brings.

3. Working at Granada. Yet another amazing experience, and one for which I am truly grateful. The week of the OB in the cathedral - working 12 hour days, running around following orders and trying to organise several hundred little old ladies... it was stressful, manic, exhausting, and I loved it. I want to be in that environment.

4. Spending time with my friends. A trip to Southport was one highlight - even if it did involve being dragged on a rollercoaster which left me not only sick, but even more determined to never go on one of those things ever again that previously. Then there was the trip to York, and a spontaneous horse and cart ride around the city with Claire. Seeing Betsy, and going to York (popular place!) with her and Peter, visiting the Yorvik museum, dressing up like Vikings and playing with all the toys. Christmas with my friends, today, sat watching The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe with Hayley, Claire and Phil, bitching about one of the actresses. Going to a pub quiz every Tuesday and watching Hayley and Olivia bicker over who gets to write the answers. And just little things, the little moments that make me glad for the friends I have, for how lucky I am.

5. Family. Yu-huh, sickening I know, but true. Not always... frequently they drive me insane... but sometimes...Going on holiday with my mum. Realising I love my dad for who he is as a person, as much as him just being such a great father. Realising how lucky I am with them, with having this fantastic support base that I can always return to, no matter what happens.

6. Little moments. Just random things, that don't fit anywhere else. Working in HMV, bizarre as that might seem. Feeling that warm buzz when someone gives me feedback on a fic I've written. Making new friends, on and offline. Listening to a new CD, or weeping over ROTK, or giggling while watching Eddie Izzard.

Tears of sorrow

1. Leaving my uni friends behind. Not just them, but something we had between us, that is hard to define. Something about having friends just a corridor away, who you can MSN in a moment and spend an evening with, just out of the blue. Of building these friendships over such a short period of time, and then seeing these same people head off in different directions. Knowing that it will never be the same again.

2. Returning home after South America. Of course, I was ready to go home, but now... I'm ready to go travelling again. I miss the amazing experiences I had, and now I understand why the Rough Guide warned of culture shock upon my return to Britain. I felt a freedom in that 2 months that I have never felt here and I long to feel that again.

3. Arguing with my friends. Its part of the package, I guess. I mean, good friends are supposed to argue for some of the time. I just wish we did less of it. And I'm not sure how to make that happen. I'm tired of trying.

4. Random regrets. Well... there's not that many of them. Failing to email people as much as I should. Being as flat broke as I am. Not writing enough. Not really tears of sorrow... just minor annoyances that I want to remedy.

So... tears of joy and sorrow? Plenty of them. Which means, all in all, this has been a damn good year. And I'm looking forward to the next one.

Quote: "I want to live. I want to experience the universe, and I want to eat pie."
"Who doesn't."
-- Urgo and Jack, SG1