"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

Somebody slip me some prozac, quick
1:15 p.m. on 2004-06-21

Just a few ideas that might improve Efan:

1. An intelligence test. Every member must pass an intelligence test before they are allowed to post. This includes such questions as 'provide the definition of sarcasm' and a spelling and grammar check.

2. Any person writing in sticky caps or all capitals will immediately recieve a short, sharp electric shock through their keyboard. That'll teach 'em.

3. Any pre-pubescent who believes they are being 'pervy' simply by referring to the idea of shagging a celebrity, will be forced to watch all five seasons of the HBO prison drama 'Oz,' as well as the DVD of 'Tipping the Velvet.'

4. A limit is put on the number of terrible Mary Sue stories allowed in the FCC. This limit is halved everytime someone posts a ridiculously overblown abuse story.

5. Every person who believes they are being rebellious by listening to Korn and quoting Billy Corgan will be rounded up, be stripped of their obligatory black hoodies, and sent to spend six months with an Amish community.

6. Every siggy or avvy which breaks the limits by a large amount, will be replaced by a picture of Bernard Manning gurning.

And finally...

7. Anyone claiming they would 'die' if a certain celebrity got married, or that they 'cried' upon seeing said celebrity arm-in-arm with his or her current beau, will be given a gun and politely told to fulfil their promise.

Can you tell I don't like teenagers?

Listening to: ZZ Topp - 'Mexican Blackbird'

Quote: "You are a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard."

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