"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

Exams, A-Levels, glad I'm past them
8:38 a.m. on 2004-08-21

As is predictable every July, the release of the A-Level results this past week has led to a flury of media attention highlighting what they've dubbed "the Inflation of Grades." You know the story: for the past twenty years, more and more people have been passing their A-Levels, and more and more people have been getting the higher grades, meaning that universities are finding it difficult to distinguish between pupils. This, the critics argue, is down to the exams getting easier.

Bollocks, methinks. My A-Levels, taken five years ago, were harder than anything I did at university. I suspect that the success of students nowadays has more to do with the selection processes at colleges and the type of subjects that students are taking than any subject becoming easier.

One commentator had the tenacity to suggest that perhaps students these days were taking subjects that they thought they would do well in, rather than the more difficult subjects like Physics and Maths.

Well duh. Students aren't stupid.

It does lead me to wonder what the hell the government do to the education system, constantly interfering, making some subjects compulsary and others not. Building over sports fields and then bemoaning the number of fat kids. Forcing the country into a union with Europe that most people don't want, and at the same time threatening to take away languages as a compulsary GCSE.

I'm not going to start spouting the usual buzzwords about "overhauling" the education system with a "radical shake-up" of the main subjects, but I do think that someone should look long and hard at the established subjects, and see how well they are working.

At primary school, the emphasis was almost completely on Maths, English, and PE. Art was thrown in as an extra, and I still have the charcoal painting of a daffodil I did somewhere floating around in my loft. The English lessons stuck with me, particularly one teacher, Mr Risebrow, who forced us as a class to read one book a week, forced us as individuals to read as many books as we could per term, and who would once a day pick on some unfortunate member of the class to read aloud, stood next to the desk and the giant of a teacher, nervously stumbling over words like "shambling" and "picturesque." My Maths lessons also left an impression, and I can still remember (most) of my times tables and can do simple arthithmetic quite quickly without use of paper or pen.

History, however, was left until high school, and the same for geography and languages. Sadly by this point, I was already so set into English that learning any language, even the basics, has always been a trial for me, and after five years of study I can still only speak basic traveller's German and my French consists of "Voilez vou couchez avec moi?", as my sister pointed out last night. So perhaps schools should be encouraged to teach at least one language from an earlier age, say, five or six. And it should be a useful language too. As much as I love the sound of German, it isn't nearly as much use in life as, say, Spanish, Mandarin, or Arabic. And Russian, which was periodically offered at my high school, is about as much use as the "Talk of the USSR" books they were printed on.

Geography wasn't much better. I learnt last night that my dad is as much aufait with oxboe lakes and what causes a volcano as I am, but neither of us can tell you what those little red triangles mean on an OS map, or point to Kuala Lumpur on the globe (well, my dad might have a better shot than I would). How about learning where places actually are,, and perhaps what their main export is, and their language. And where places are in England too, that would be useful, and something that I'm only now beginning to study.

History was as bad. At primary school we skimmed over 1066, learnt that Harold was shot in the eye with an arrow (which turns out to be a myth, by the way), and dabbled with the Victorian Era, visiting Beamish and even going so far as to have a "Victorian Day" (dressing up in hair nets and saying 'sir' to every teacher).

At high school I was taught about the French and Russian revolutions, and even ventured into Ancient China to learn about the Great Wall. At GCSE I was given two options - Social and Ecnomic, which featured the oh-so-interesting topics such as the Industrial Revolution and how a spinning jenny worked - and Modern, which I took because it was The War, and I prefferred the teacher.

I followed this up at college, and in those four years learnt plenty about Germany. World War One, the German Royal Family, the Treaty of Versailles, then the shambles afterwards, the rise of Hitler, the Hitler Youth, the place of women in Nazi Germany...

Couldn't tell you the first thing about the battles, however. The actual war was skimmed over, in favour of politics and social background. And I certainly have no clue as to England's part in the War (except we were there). And anything more local, such as Kings and Queens and the Black Plague? Haven't got a clue.

So maybe history should be compulsary too. Local history. Even more local history, such as that behind our home town. That might make things interesting. Of course, World War Two is frightfully important, but even when studying that, it would make sense to learn more about our part in it that, say, the names and positions of everyone in Hitler's government.

Maths, of course, should remain compulsary, however much I hated it at school. It would be a challenge to make the subject interesting, but perhaps they don't have to - perhaps, like they did at my primary school, they should just drill those pesky timestables into you until you just can't forget.

So, Maths, English, History, Geography and at least one language, taught from the age of six.

I'll work on the others later. Art, well, yes, encourages creativity, but not exactly useful. Science, obviously. I hated science, and I think those idiots that talk about not enough people doing Physics or Chemistry at A-Level should remember that even at age 15, I realised that I was more suited to the life of an Arts Student, whilst Hayley was and still is the sort of person who likes to take apart a mechanical clock to see how it works.

I don't know why more students are getting higher grades year after year. I don't think that exams are getting easier. If anything, I think there is more pressure on kids now than there ever was on my parent's generation. And this pressure is only added to by the damn media, and their constant undermining of results, or by the government, and their insane desire to make half the country go to university, when half the jobs in the country don't need degrees. When the students graduating now are finding themselves in the terrible position of being under-qualified for the better paid jobs, and over-qualified for the simpler, but more rewarding positions.

So. Anyone who got their A-Level results this week? Congratulations. Whatever you got, you worked damn hard for it, and don't ever let any newspaper, tv show or interfering relative tell you different.

Just... think about becoming a plumber, that's all. Or an electrician. There's a big demand, and a high wage. Go on. The world doesn't need anymore accountants.

Listening to: Thea Gilmore

Quote: "Ok, I came, I saw, I was perky. Now I just want my head on a pillow."

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