"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

I know you from *somewhere*
2:14 p.m. on 2004-01-22

I don't believe in any of this "Englishness" crap that your average BNP member drones on about us losing.

My home city, Manchester, is a diverse mix (ergh, I hate that phrase) of all races and religions. We have China Town, the Islamic area of Rusholme, there's a Buddhist centre down the back of Debenhams and enough Mosques, Synagogues and Churches for you to be shaking a stick all day long.

And that's what I'm proud of. To me, being English isn't about being white, or about eating a Sunday Roast, or drinking warm beer and watching football.

To me, it's about sitting on a bus journey every single day with people who share your journey every single day, and never saying a word.

Why do we do this? It would be quite easy for me to strike up a conversation with the bus driver who now has my ticket already printed out before I've even opened my mouth, or the cutish middle aged guy who sits listening to his walkman and looking over my shoulder at what I'm reading. I could smile at the grey haired woman who reminds me of Maxine Gray (Judging Amy) and who gets off at the same stop as me, or at the teenage boy who stands at the stop at the same time as I do, but gets a slightly earlier bus.

But I don't. I'm sure these are all lovely people. I waste away the hour by inventing fantasy lives for them. Maybe Maxine (as she will now be known) is a lecturer in English and lives in a house with five dogs and a tatty knitted throw she bought from Morrocco covering the sofa. Maybe the cute guy is secretly frustrated in his marriage and dull office job, and longs for the days when he and his wife were head over heels - he wants to whisk her away to exotic lands and she just wants to know when he'll take the bins out. Maybe the bus driver is a frustrated poet who makes extra cash by writing limericks for St. Patrick's Day cards.

But I won't ever know these things, because I won't ever say hello. Or even smile.

I'm English. It's not what I do.

Listening to: Curve - Chinese Burn

Quote: "He will never be left on the shelf cos Kevin, he's in love with himself"

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