"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

New jobs, old jobs
6:42 p.m. on 2005-10-26

So... I left my job.

I had a very nice last day, which combined perfectly fond goodbyes to the people I like, and the reminder from other people of why I hate working there. I also left with a box of Thorntons biscuits and �50 HMV vouchers so - yay me!

Part of me was still thinking, as I walked out of the door - god, am I doing the right thing? Logically, I know that staying there wasn't going to lead anywhere, it wasn't the bottom level, starting opportunity I thought it would be. I had discovered enough about the company to decide I didn't want to work for them, no matter in what capacity. That my new job offers far more in the way of career aspects and salary. However...

There was a still a voice in my head that was panicking. For a long time, I have wanted to work for a company in that area - hell, let's say it, I wanted to work in television - and although my job had very little to do with production, there is part of me which says, yeah, but it was at least near the studios. Like, god, I've wanted to work in television, and now I have, and I've left! Which is stupid, because a) I hated the job and b) it was never working in television. Not really. No matter how much I might beef up the position to strangers when they ask me what I do.

So, yeah. I have resignation-remorse, which is a lot like buyer's remorse, except I have nothing pretty to show for it. Except those HMV vouchers.

On the plus side, I'm getting excited about my new job. Initially I suspect it won't be as interesting or challenging as, well... as I deserve. However, given recent news items, White Papers and government speeches - most of which I have scoffed at, and gotten very angry over - I think that the prospect of reaching the higher positions really interests me. It's an area I've never thought of as a career choice, but the more I think about it, the more I think about actually being in a position to affect the system - that's very appealing.

And sure, I'm not naive. There will be politics, there will be mundanity (is that a word?!), there will be boredom, there will be frustration. But from a job, I want to be challenged, and I want to feel worthwhile. I'm optimistic that the higher positions might offer me that - and that, at least, is an incentive to move up the ranks. And I've never had that feeling in a job.

It's quite nice, actually.

Meanwhile... went to Lincoln for a few days with my mum. Enjoyed myself thoroughly, except for one part that I'm... well... I'm not going to relive it here. But it will be bottled down and shut up amongst all the other crap I will be spilling to a therapist in the distant future.

Saw Pet, which was great - hello Pet! Bought some Christmas presents. Am now the proud owner of a very nice office skirt - it's sort of grey tweed, with ruffles sewn in spirals around it. Oh, and a white, ribbed jumper designed in a sixties style. I'm not sure whether it's second hand vintage or not - but it will keep me warm. Ate lots of nice food, saw some beautiful countryside, finally found myself some Kenneth Cole (which my mother has locked away until Christmas, waah!), and... yeah. It was good.

And now I have two weeks until I start my new job. Whee!

Wow, this was a long entry.

Listening to: Tom McRae "Pale Blue Eyes"

Quote: "Are you watching Queer Eye? They were making over a nudist - let's just say Carson got into the spirit. So they locked him out in the front garden and hid his clothes in the freezer." - Hayley

<< >>