"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

Pride. The abridged edition.
8:27 a.m. on 2005-08-30

Things I now know which I didn't prior to going to Pride this weekend...

1. Even in wet and windy Manchester, some people will still dress up in only a tiny pair of spandex pants. And that's it. As my grandad would say, their kidneys' will get cold in that outfit.

2. Whilst not all lesbians have butch haircuts and wear oversized man t-shirts.... there is a reason that stereotype exists.

3. I know what a 'bear' is.

4. The bravest thing I have ever seen is a man wearing only a pair of white pvc mini-shorts and a pair of knee-high white furry boots, walking casually through Picadilly train station at nine o'clock at night.

5. No one wants to see the back of a man's arse peeking through his leather gimp outfit before lunch.

6. Hayley gets worryingly competitive over free stuff. Although together we now own several lollipops, a couple of bottles of water, numerous stickers, and enough free perfume to start our own stand in Debenhams. But we never got a free whistle.

7. There is more crap pop in the world than I ever dared imagine.

8. The Cheeky Girls are neither cheeky nor girls. They haven't been girls for a long time.

9. Burger vans will use any excuse to jack up the price of a bag of chips.

10. Oh, so that's where you buy lube from.

Listening to: Steve Page's solo album. I'm not hugely impressed.

Quote: "It's not rained! Proof that God's a poof!" - Graham Norton.

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