"Even if I got rid of all my problems, I'd just go out and get new ones..."

I should have my own theme tune. Preferably by Missy Elliot
1:48 p.m. on 2004-08-31

Thanks to the likes of Buffy, Dark Angel, La Femme Nikita, Alias, etc, the "kick ass female" role has never been more popular.

Apparantly. Personally I think this is a myth, since most people in watching these shows, despise the main character and end up relating to her geekier and less kick-ass mate.

Because here's the real truth. Kick ass females? Don't exist. No one walks around wearing leather pants and a midriff-bearing tight top unless it's a certain time of night and they're in a certain type of area and, y'know, they'll give you a blow job for a tenner.

No one struts. No, not even air stewardesses. No, not even my sister. Not a "Kick-ass" strut, anyway. All legs and ass, deliberately set at Darth Vader speed (y'know, the sort that makes everyone else have to break into a trot to keep up). Feline.

No one wears heavy mascara all the time. No one wears sunglasses inside without looking like a twat.

But there are days in which I wish kick-ass females really did exist. In which I wish I was one of them. When I long for the day in which I can spout a witty comeback to every wolf whistle, or when, if the world is getting me down, I can flip a finger at it.

Fuck you world. Bite me.

Listening to: Lynrd Skynrd "Sweet Home Alabama"

Quote: "Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."

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